I spent most of my life Lying, Stealing and Cheating. Which complimented each other perfectly.
My family was the 'village scrubbers' ; discussed regularly for the untidyness of our clothes which were often a bit dirty and our house which had roof tiles and patches of plaster missing. The kids would throw stones and eggs at the house, leading to many broken windows and mental anguish.
Although my parents owned several properties and my dad was a kind, helpful kind of man he didn't care for trying to please others .
My dad worked early and late, he'd leave in the morning before I woke and arrive home close to my bed time - But he was a good Dad. He'd do anything to help us that he could. I remember him building a tree house with us on a free weekend and taking us swimming in local submerged quarries. He taught me how to fire a gun, find a good woman and find other intelligent people.
My brother, had and continues to have learning disabilities; He's severely dyslexic and kinaestetic (can't make pictures) . He felt isolated, alone and depressed for most of his life.
He finds it difficult to get on with people and never felt as if he was a member of any
group or alliance until about 18 when he discovered that if he shaved his head and wore all black
goths and neo-natzi's would take him under their wing. Everybody finds an identity.
Jeremy was bullied throughout school and afterwards, hospital a number of times and beaten fairly sevearely in school more times than I like to recall. several incidents stay engrained in my mind:
The local pond was green but stayed cold on hot summers. We loved to try new things and swimming in the pond was a laugh. He told me not to because he didn't want me to face the bullying he had always experienced. We had just finished when the local youth arrived, I remeber Kieran Roberts,
Daniel Mee and around 8 other 10 - 15 year olds on bikes. They shouted abuse at us and pushed my brother, they kept pushing him around and eventually into the pond again almost face first. I can't remember if anyone punched him; I was too upset. They threw his bike in the water and then left shouting something disgusting I won't repeat.
On a different occasion I was out swimming with my family, my brother left behind. A group of local youths saw my brother in the window. Around 6 to 9 of them, with a ring leader Mark, a gay who's dad was thought to have abused him and was aged 17. They threw stones at him, smashing a victorian window and scaring the life from him. He grabbed my dad's airgun and pointed it out the window at them. He had ran out of choices. My dad dismantled the gun and modified it so before the police arrived (6 hours later) it
was incapable of firing. Because of this, my brother only got a caution.
Later in life, Michael Clarke (16, previously arrested) Decided he wanted to teach jeremy a lesson before he finished his school. He got a group of 5 guys to come in , grab Jeremy and beat him like he'd never been beated before. One kid held onto two railings and kicked My brother in the face with both feet. They banged his head into a wall and punched him, kicked him until a teacher dared to intervene. They hit the teacher and ran off. My brother went to hospital. How would that affect you? How would you get over it? How scared would you feel?
I remember several other occasions, I always felt powerless because I couldn't help. I wasn't mentally strong enough to make a difference.
Several times I considered hiding in a bush and shooting them as they came out of
their council estates, but my dad had taught me better.
Every year we would get egged on trick or treat night. Sometimes broken windows and kicking on our door. One year my dad decided he would play it as a joke and chased three teenage lads (Ryan, 16. Michael Clarke, 17 , Danni Williams, 15) throwing eggs at
them after they had broken a window and kicked the door.
When running down the main road in Central Newbold Coleorton they stopped running, threw leafs in his face and proceeded to try to beat him up. They kicked my dad, punched him in the face and body. They wanted something to tell their friends. The kids came from broken homes and maybe they faced a lot of male anger issues. My dad hit one, hard, real hard and they ran off. The kid spent three day's in hospital and escaped prison by lying in court. I lost faith in justice and trusting 'the system'. My dad had back problems after that.
I never liked people, but when I was growing up my brother was a good friend. We'd get in all sorts of trouble. Somewhere I failed as a brother and ended up his adversary, I pick holes in things he does and argue.
Some of my best memories in life happened with my brother Jez,
Biking on the local mine grounds, building small ramps. We'd get scrapes and bumps but it was all worth it. Making den's and hiding. Camping out over night somewhere. My brother used to be my best friend and now I've pushed everyone thats close to me away. I lived in a small village and never really made many friends.
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Girls
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My First girlfriend was when I was about 8 years old, Laura Rumble was overweight and lived on the council estate. I remember kissing her and hearing her Mum saying how disgusting my family was while sitting watching TV filling her fat,sweaty, acne ridden chins with microwave meals. I was upset deeply she would say that while I was there. I wanted to impress my girlfriends
parent and she made me feel bad. I Never enjoyed spending time with laura and she later faked that she had been recieving death threats to get attention. Some time after she was discovered and the spotlight moved off her, she Became a lesbian.
Later in primary school a girl was impressed by how clever I appeared and asked me to be her boyfriend. I was less than 10 years old when I first discovered I only vaguely enjoy women at all.
Throughout school I enjoyed finding a girl that was beautiful and trying to impress her enough to like me. I would usually lie about things and dismiss any attempts she made to express her feelings for me. I didn't have a girlfriend again until aged 14.
A girl from a few doors up through a party. I got drunk and held hands with a girl from essex who was tall but fairly ugly with braces. I had some photos on my PC of myself looking good and sent them to her via MSN after she got back. She suggested she came down and I prepared (bought condoms). I bought some a few days later and she came down to visit her friend (or more specifically me) a few days later. We didn't talk at all, we made out. I explored her body with my hands but decided I wasn't ready for anything more; So I pushed her away in a planned expression of arrogance. I enjoyed the status symbol of having a girlfriend, the feeling of success. The power to
influence somebody else. I didn't enjoy spending time with her.
At age 16, I developed conscious comprehension of how to seduce women through books and experimentation. I developed a taste for classy looking brunette's with big breasts and had several successful relationships with girls from 16 - 19 that I met in coalville and leicester by approaching girls on the street, at bus stops and while they are working etc. I remember practically running to the bathroom of a cinema to try to avoid my parents seeing me attempt to seduce a 18 yr old cinema attendant. I sometimes used preset conversations that I could use to demonstrate that I was a Leader of men, was desired by other girls and completely confident with my own sexuality & personality. This successfully enabled me to lead astray about 7 girls who were willing to have sex with me .
But I wasn't a leader of men and felt incredibly unworthy. I felt unworthy of their love. I felt unlovable. Even if a girl had verbally expressed she wanted me physically, I would try to demean her and insult her until she was at a level below me. I seduced her, by definition I had lead her astray. I hadn't attracted
her, I had tricked her. My seducing, I generalised I wasn't good enough to naturally attract a high calibre woman.
I overcame this in the 07 summer holidays, by stopping competing with other guys and just living my life. I got rid of all my friends and read self improvement books to make myself a better person. I didn't want to be a creep. I realised that if I had millions of pounds and a beautiful girl on my arm I still wouldn't be happy. I need a calling, a reason to be .
I lost my virginity at the age of 16 with a girlfriend in nottingham. I was thoroughly dissapointed and didn't really enjoy it that much. A few weeks later I went on a lads holiday to corfu greece. Without premeditation, I slept
With a genuinely beautiful 19yr old blonde on the beach from kent. Every guy was stunned I was the one she had picked, but that wasn't it at all. I didn't care about having sex with her, she
had a large friend and I wanted to get rid of the sadness I could see in her eyes, so I spent a night entertaining the large friend. Most guys are animals who dismiss everything but her tits. I was the exception to the blonde's rules, so she decided to sleep with me.
I heard a lot of guys say after having a threesome things like "God can take me now, I'll die a happy man". I charmed the greek receptionist and had a great time attracting her. After the first time together her friend came and very much liked me, so we had a threesome. It was a fantastic experience but I wouldn't do it again. I don't share.
After realising that Sex and Money aren't valid life goals, I got on with my life and have now set a new goal :
GET AAA AND BECOME A DOCTOR
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Business
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From the age of 15, my family's average wealth was destroyed completely when my dad was involved in a terrible event. The story hurts my heart so bad I don't like to think about it. With my family poor I simply had to bring money into the family, I didn't have a choice. It was succeed or mum has little money to buy food. I deposited £270 in the first month without telling them. It kept food on the table. My mum was so thankful, for the first time
in my life, at the age of 15, I felt like a man.
My passive income sources grew and grew, from illegal to legal, from £50/weekend to £1700/month 2 months before my 17th birthday. I have no living expenses, so thats pocket money.
I've bought £300 tag heuer watches, Xboxes, Prada Clothes, £460 CPU's, £400 HD Projectors, £500 Italian Leather Sofa's & Handmade rugs for my room. None of it made me feel
good. The only time money has ever made me feel good was when I used it to help my family.
After that, I realised how happy money can make me so began with several successful businesses. If I write anymore, you might realise which companies I own so I won't.
My new business will generate more income than ever. If it works, I will be making £5000/month of my 18th birthday, I will donate 10% to charity each month. Its what god would want.
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Life Now
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I've now become a man. I no longer am a creep. I now fully accept I am not like everyone else. I have stopped seducing women. My only goal is to become a doctor and save lives, so they can have a second chance; Like i've had.
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THIS BLOG WILL BE A RECORDING OF MY THOUGHTS AS I WORK TOWARDS MY A2 LEVELS. I NEED 80% IN EVERY SUBJECT, SO ITS GOING TO BE INTERESTING.
